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Im not so sure I am living my life. Instead, I think I am desperately trying to effectively manage my life in hopes that I eventually feel like Im living.
I dont know, does that make sense? I mean, Ive just spent a week backing up my hard drives, archiving jobs dating back to July and further, organizing all of my digital files into a form that no longer resembles a New Orleans post Katrina neighborhood. An ENTIRE WEEK!
And all the time that I am sorting and cleaning and burning CDs, Im mentally assessing my business and trying to chart a course for yet another year. What is important? What is not? How could I best be spending my time? Should I work on my art or my business? What is my business plan? Do I have a business plan? What is the MOST important thing on my list of things to do? Where IS my list, I know I it was here a second ago!
Its all management. Its not living. Its organizing and planning and executing or, in my case, thinking, rethinking and procrastinating.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldnt want to make a living doing anything else. Its just that, after a while, I hope that I finally get it all figured out to the point where Im ON the ball not UNDER it.
Well, anyway, on the more positive side, Im still experimenting with my new illustration style and generating some colorful, fun and completely non-commercial work and Im also occasionally doing some sketching as well. At least Ive managed that! But... was it the BEST use of my time... hmmm?